One of life’s little injustices…or is it?

So, as I’m preparing to move to Nebraska for my new job, I have been contemplating how much I will miss a lot of people that I know here in Bozeman and am once again reminded of people I have known and loved, but have left behind previously.  I’ve decided that it is one of life’s little injustices that we spend time with people and become close to them, only to have them move on and out of our lives or to move on ourselves.  The result is the same either way.  I think family is the biggest example of this: all that time spent fighting with and learning to love siblings during the growing up years only to finally realize that, when you cannot always be in such close proximity, that is precisely and perpetually what you want to do.  Too bad we can’t or don’t realize these things sooner…  It seems sad, and, yet, at the same time those seemingly never-ending family roadtrips and those times giggling on the floor until your sides ache are the experiences that solidify this bond.  Without these experiences, we cannot develop this type of relationship.  

Aside from family, however there are many people who pass through our lives at one time or another.  We live near some of them for years and some of them are only a part of our close association for days, weeks or months.  Whatever it is, I believe that people come into our lives for a reason.  I don’t believe that this is a coincidence (despite the fact that there are always those individuals whose purpose in our lives seems to be to help us learn patience or tolerance or those whose purpose we cannot discern until later).  However, as much as we try, we lose contact with at least some of these people that, at least for a time, meant a great deal to us.  Or, despite the fact that we remain in touch, we no longer share the exact same bond that we once had.  Sometimes even people who are still in close physical proximity drift out of our circle of close friends for one reason or another.  Perhaps these people have fulfulled their purpose for coming into our lives and now must move on to help someone else.  Or, perhaps one or both of us stop investing the time in the friendship that is required to keep it alive…  Someone once pointed this out to me–that being a friend is not a passive thing, you have to invest some time to truly be a friend.  This would also explain why an email every so often or an occasional post on facebook does not create the same type of bond as spending several hours a week together doing whatever, wherever.  Another possibility is that our friendship has been “trumped” (so-to-speak) by a deeper one such as when one of our best friends gets married and our relationship lessens even if ever so slightly as theirs grows.  As impossible as it would be in this life, wouldn’t it be wonderful if all of the people we ever knew and cared about could always be with us?  if our relationships could remain in their best state forever?  Why do we have to move on?  Why must our relationships evolve?  I don’t know, but, whatever the reason or circumstance, it is always sad to say farewell to those to whom you are close.  But, we all face those times in our lives.

Conversely, one of the neatest things about true friends is that they can always be just that.  Unless we intentionally chase these friendships from our hearts because of grief or spite or let them die for whatever reason, they remain intact as if scientifically preserved.  Then, when we meet again, it is as if we are picking up exactly where we left off, instantly and effortlessly resuming the closeness that we once felt.  True friends are the type that whenever you happen to see each other or talk to each other on the phone, it is as if you have never really been apart–aside from the catching up on details of what you’ve been up to and where you have been.  Something deeper bonds your souls together.  These true friends are the ones that drift through your thoughts often and of whom you have fond memories–the kind of memories that can make you laugh out loud or cry at seemingly (or really) inappropriate times when no one else around you knows why…

So despite the fact, that we cannot carry all of the people that we have ever known and cared about around with us wherever we go, these friendships stay in our hearts in a dormant stage as if flash-frozen.  But they can be immediately reconstituted whenever we meet again.  So despite the seemingly unfair nature of this whole phenomenon and the sadness that sometimes accompanies it, we are granted this gift to be able to store these relationships in our hearts indefinitely and enjoy them again and again, either through revisiting fond memories or by becoming reacquainted with those (in some cases) long lost friends once again.  How wonderful it will be when we will be able to have these good friends near us always–especially our families and those to whom we have no blood relation, but are close enough to be placed in the same category.

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5 Responses to “One of life’s little injustices…or is it?”

  1. bluesuit12 Says:

    It is hard to move and start over somewhere else with new people but it’s always awesome when someone you lost contact with comes back into contact with you.

  2. Leigh Says:

    How sweet of you to write a blog about me! LOL! j/k On a serious note, I agree with you and Natalie. I’m glad we’re back in touch. 🙂

  3. stolan13 Says:

    Who said it was about you? 😉

  4. Leigh Says:

    Wow, way to shatter my fragile state of mind…..

    I’ll be crying myself to sleep tonight. 😉

  5. stolan13 Says:

    Oh… I pictured that much differently… Sorry!

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